I’d Felt Fear Before

Today is September 11th.

Whenever I see or hear this date mentioned, my mind flashes back immediately to that awful day … to the horrifying moments of that one single day in 2001 when terrorists attacked the Twin Towers in New York City using two hijacked planes … to the third terrorist flown plane that crashed deliberately into a wall of the Pentagon … and a fourth in a field in Shanksville, Pennsylvania. Nearly 3,000 people lost their lives on that one single day.

I live on the opposite side of New York State – 400+ miles away from New York City. I live several hours away from where the plane crashed in Pennsylvania, and even farther away from the Pentagon. However, on that one single day in 2001, I felt completely terrified. I felt like these tragedies – these acts of terrorism – were happening at the house right next door to me – like they were happening at my own. Terrorists had attacked my country. They’d attacked my home. It caused me to feel fear – fear like I’d never before known. It gripped me. It paralyzed me emotionally. I felt frantic. I didn’t know if this was going to lead to the end of my world … if I’d survive the day … if I’d ever see another. I didn’t know what might happen next. I didn’t know where or how we’d go on from here.

Even before September 11, 2001, I’d felt fear.

I enjoy scary movies. I like to watch them and feel a little bit scared – all the while knowing that the situation isn’t real – that the story is fictional and that the sensation of fear that it’s inducing in me will be very short-lived and temporary.

I’d felt fear when I was twelve and fell down a shale-covered hillside in Pennsylvania. I lost my footing near the top when my cousins and I began our descent. Small trees, boulders, and their loving outstretched hands help break my fall and save me.

I’d felt fear before when I’d had a bad dream or nightmare.

I’d felt fear before when I’d faced a surgery or two. The unknown. The uncertainty.

I’d felt fear before on numerous occasions, but never before September 11, 2001, had I ever felt fear – sheer and utter real raw fear – as I felt and experienced it that day. When that kind of fear grips you – when it completely terrorizes you – you don’t know what to do. You feel panic-stricken and have no idea how to help yourself. It’s very difficult if not impossible to shake the feeling and move onward. Things are happening around you that are beyond your control. You don’t know how to right them. You feel as if you’re frozen – like you’ve become an immovable figure – a statue. You feel completely helpless.

Unfortunately in America and all around our globe, there are people living with this kind of fear and terror daily. The knowledge of it saddens me greatly. Having experienced real fear, I can’t help but feel tremendous sympathy for those who suffer and try to function day after day with their minds and emotions in such complete turmoil and upheaval. How devastating and crippling it must be – how hopeless and helpless it must feel! My heart goes out to those who live in fear – to anyone who feels afraid and/or terrorized each and every day!

When I look back on September 11th and on any other occasion in my life when I’ve felt fear, I see one thing in common – one thing that I did to help me move onward and get past each situation: I acknowledged that I felt afraid and resolved that fear would not paralyze or destroy me. I knew that I had to move forward. Fear was staring me in the face. I had to get around it, get past it and put it behind me. To do that, I had to have the right attitude – I had to have faith that things would work out for the best one way or another – and then inch by inch, I had to put one foot in front of the other and carry on with life and living.

I love this quote by Rosa Parks:

This quote is so entirely true. The best way to diminish fear is to move forward. Know what needs to be done and do it.

I’d felt fear before September 11, 2001 – real fear – on a night when my sister and I were living alone with her young children. The sound of banging and crashing on a downstairs door led us to believe that someone was breaking into our home. We were sleeping at opposite ends of the house, but the noise woke both of us abruptly from a very sound sleep. We were terrified and felt panic-stricken. We could barely speak … barely move. And then realization struck us – we had to keep the children safe. That motivation overrode our fear. We knew what needed to be done. We knew we had to investigate and face and deal with the situation head on. No matter what the cost, we had to protect the children. Knowing what needed to be done diminished our fear.

Thankfully, the person trying to crash through our door was a neighbor not someone looking to harm us. The neighbor’s boyfriend was drunk and had threatened her. She was terrified and was frantically seeking safe refuge.

I’d felt fear before September 11, 2001, and I’ve felt it since every now and then … and I still can’t help but feel this one very important thing:

We don’t need to live in fear. We don’t have to live that way. There is always something we can do to help ourselves – some way we can fix or change our situation. Fear is real, but it can absolutely be dealt with and rectified.

If you’re living in or with fear, please do whatever is necessary to put an end to it. Seek professional help or remove yourself from the dangerous situation that you’re living in. Life is too short. Time is too precious. Fear is unnecessary.

Here are some articles that might perhaps help you:

The Six Best Ways to Decrease Your Anxiety – Melanie Greenberg, Ph.D.
4 Ways to Overcome Fear – WikiHow
Ten Ways to Fight Your Fears – National Health Service

 How do you deal with fear? How do you move past it and move onward?